Blog Post from November 17, 2016
"In the end, everyone is aware of this: nobody keeps any of what he has, and life is only a borrowing of bones."
-Pablo Neruda
I have read over and over the acronym for FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. I "know" in my mind and my heart that what I most want to eradicate from my life is just that, FEAR. I want to remove all vestiges of false identification, limiting beliefs, unhealthy patterns, and just straight up bullshit. Yet, it is in the moments when I truly feel that I am stepping into something much greater than what I have known, that the fear sets in most. We tell ourselves such fantastic tales of defeat, often times before ever going into battle. We are the only ones who know our hearts.
I am not afraid of death, for I have faced it many times. I have been fortunate enough to walk away from it. We shook hands and parted ways, and I became that much more committed to squeezing everything I could out of this wild and precious life. So if not death, what is there to fear? Is it feeling so much joy that you could burst at the seams? Is it revisiting gut wrenching sadness? Is it mastering emotions altogether? Is it feeling or witnessing another's pain? Is it loving another fiercely? Is it being loved deeply in return? Or is it all of the above AND stepping fully into one's fullest potential? Poets and writers discuss this powerfully potent place of flow...when all currents of life begin to rush towards a destination. Often times this destination is one that has taken a great deal of intention to formulate in the conscious mind. There is no doubt that all actions prior to flow have led to this "somewhere." This here and now. But, as the unfolding and rebirthing of what may have been dormant prior to this realization comes to light, all of the "old" and "safe" ways come scrambling to the surface. Usually screaming. The truth is, you have the capacity to let the dark come to the light. Let the shadows dance. Explore them. Get curious. Then put them to rest. Let more light shine through.
Each crack lets in more light.
Last night, right before bed, the room began to shake. I felt the bed gently shifting side to side. Earthquake. It wasn't my first, but still remarkable nonetheless.
What a perfect metaphor. Mother Earth is quaking and shifting as we all are. Cracking open to let the shadow surface so that more light can get in. I, too, cracked open today. A flood of shadows came through. I didn't let them break me, but they certainly tried. And now I can rest assured that this shaking and quaking was simply a reminder that there is more work to be done.
-------------------------------------------------------
Rabbit medicine is often associated with fear. However, it is also associated with intuition and creativity. We are often living this grand paradox in our lives. We fear that which we desire and we fear that which might take away our desire or distort it. I have had a set of medicine cards since I was 15 years old. They are becoming quite popular again these days. There is a lovely little rhyme on each animal page. The one for rabbit says:
"Scared little rabbit...
Please drop your fright!
Running doesn't stop the pain,
Or turn the dark to light."
(Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson)
May we all face our fears head on so that we can get cracked open and learn to trust our intuition so that we can create a new world.
Love,
Maura
Photo: Unsplash by Gary Bendig